That you are

February 5, 2011

As usual, you are talking and I feign attention.  Thing is, I AM interested, but I feel drugged up. There is something about you that makes me feel like I’m overdosing on barbiturates in some serious way.

As you talk, time moves slowly.  I am fascinated by the V your lips make when you smile, the way you say “knor” instead of “no”, the way that your eyes light up when you are excited. The knowledge you impart is usually highly insightful observation enveloped in trivial nonsense, lumps of coal one realizes some gem in some delayed reaction.

As you talk, I sense your insecurities beneath the self deprecation and the irrelevant humor. There is something in your past that sharpened what has become your defense mechanism. And yet, that you’ve said it shows your cognizance, a vital step in overcoming those impediments, which should only prove temporary.

As it is, there is a natural, innocent grace underscoring your femininity.   As you talk, I sense passion awakening from girlish sensibilities.

Simone de Beauvoir says one is not born a woman, but rather becomes one. That as you talk, you are transforming right in front of my eyes. That you have, I have matured as well.

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